Thursday, November 6, 2008

I think this blog needs happier posts. All the lugubrious reflections on things which induce self-abhorrence is so not befitting for my sunshine blog. Plus, my mood is very much uplifted seeing that a certain someone seems to be holding up pretty well. =D

Classes start next Monday. That leaves a mere 4 days for me to laze around, watch tv all day, binge on junkfood and literally be an obese version of the worst kind of parasite. Boo!
I hate going to classes. I hate learning new things. I hate those motivational quotes which tell people learning is a lifelong process which can give people super powers to conquer the world. Or some shit like that. Besides, i'd forget everything i learned after the exam, so what's the point.

Okay, maybe it's not so much of the learning new things that i dislike. I'm just not too fond of learning things which i'm supposed to learn. In this case, accounting, the mother of all bitches. But i like discovering useless facts such as the first ever condoms were made of linen and the infamous Casanova actually used the linen condoms. Considering the fact that linen is highly absorbent and linen threads can be easily broken by constant creasing in the same place, i think Casanova is quite lucky they didn't have DNA testing back then.

I also learnt about DIEP, deep inferior epigastric perforator, which is a breast reconstruction surgery for survivors of breast cancer who had undergone masectomy. This procedure basically involves taking the fat and skin from the abdominal area and transferring them to the chest, creating a new breast to replace the one lost. Compared to conventional silicone implants, DIEP gives the added bonus of having a new breast which looks and feel real and eliminates the risk of silicone leakage.
Suddenly breast cancer doesn't seem like something to be mourned anymore. With this technology, getting breast cancer also means getting new, perky (as opposed to saggy), probably bigger boobs and a flat tummy.

My sick mind actually came up with an advantage that comes with breast cancer.
For people who yearn for washboard abs but is too much of a cur to get a tummy tuck, breast cancer serves as a driving force to give them that little push which they need to undergo an abminoplasty. And since that little push comes in the form of get-the-surgery-or-die, all these people would finally be able to live their dreams of having flat tummies.
Isn't this just wonderful. =D

sincerely weinie
1:03 AM